the window of tolerance

The window of tolerance is a term used to describe the best state of ‘arousal’ or stimulation in which we are able to function and thrive in everyday life. when we exist within this window, we are able to learn effectively, play and relate well to understand ourselves and others.

The window of tolerance is a concept created by Dr Dan Siegel and describes a persons capacity to manage stress. You may feel pushed to the edge of the window of tolerance when experiencing anger or anxiety, but you are confident that you can rely on your range of inner resources to keep you within the window.

If you have experienced trauma, especially as a child, or you did not receive the care you needed, or felt insecure within your attachment relationships, then it is unlikely that you learnt the resources to stay within your window of tolerance. When early childhood needs are not met it is probable that you have not learnt to regulate your emotions, in turn disrupting your nervous system, and leaving you very reactive to small stresses in the present. Your window of tolerance shrinks and everyday situations can begin to feel like huge threats.

When you are not able to regulate your emotions and having intense reactions to stress, you may experience either ‘ hyper-arousal’ or ‘hypo-arousal’. Hyper-arousal is also called the ‘fight or flight’ response. You may feel overwhelmed or anxious and react with aggressive or angry outbursts. you may feel constantly on high alert, potentially struggling with intrusive and critical thoughts about yourself. you may also experience sleep or digestion problems as you are always on guard. Hypo-arousal is called the ‘freeze’ response. you may become disconnected from the present moment experiencing withdrawal or dissociation, even loosing memory. you may experience ‘brain fog’ and feel separate from what is going on around you and even your own thoughts and feelings.

Hyper and hypo-arousal may occur in response to different triggers, such as rejection, abandonment, intrusive thoughts or even a sensory reminder or visual flashback to an original unresolved event. the keys to managing these states is to stay within your window of tolerance through self-care, self-soothing and self-awareness.

(Please read ‘Tips for staying within your window of tolerance’ for how to manage this).